2 Trying BFN

BD 2012:
9/18 NE
10/2 LH SURGE-830am, (False pos due to FMU?)
10/3 NE
10/7 Morning AND night LH SURGE- 230pm (False pos?)
10/12 LH SURGE- 2pm (first time had two ++ in a row) Small amt of E via AI.
10/13 Early morning- No E 😦 LH SURGE 230p (3+++ in a row). LG SURGE 9pm. Evening: Very Small amt of E via AI

Got period 2012:
9/3 (early due to quitting BC…could just be possible spotting and not real period).UPDATE: NOPE, its a real period.
9/27 (early, only 24 day cycle). Ovulation should take place about halfway 10/7-10/8
10/24- 27 day cycle… I hope I am on track now!
11/20- 27 day cycle, 10-11 day LP

Began taking prenatals for 3 months, started around June ish. Originally on Flintstones Complete (2x/day) but now I cannot stand the taste, and I also need a vitamin with DHA in it. Going to start Target gummies, but take more DHA and possibly an Iron supplement as well. Started Target Gummie (vitafusion knockoff), SOOOO TASTY! Will be picking up some Iron Supp (27mg) and DHA (150 mg) SOON!!! UPDATE: Picked up Sundown Iron and Naturemade DHA. Tried 10/3 2 DHA and 1 Iron yest and felt fine, but did get like a 5 sec bout of nausea, not sure if related. Not going to take anymore iron/dha til a pos ept, so I dont waste the vitamins.Also, not sure if its my crazy hormones or bad diet, but my skin has be VERY bad, so i picked up a new body wash and a new fashwash today, hoping for some improvement.

Stopped taking BC 8/31/12 was last pill.
Started bleeding 9/3/12

Should get period around week of 9/20-12 UPDATE: (NOPE, DIDNT COME) OR 10/1/12 UPDATE: (NOPE). Came 9/27/12 at 8:30pm- early. 24 Day cycle.

Feeling possible ovulation pain, right side 9/17/12. Also nipple tenderness, bloat.
Makes sense, its 14 days after 9/3/12 period, if that was a real period. OPK shows negative though.

Cramping 9/19/12, feels like period is coming soon.

When the hell do I ovulate now?

9/21/12, still no period, but light cramping. May just be pms before real period starts in oct. If my real period started Sept 3 (not a withdrawl bleed), and my cycle is 28 days, period should be due Oct 1. Not sure if my cycle is 28 days though, so may be even later than Oct 1 or sooner.

Much worse cramping 9/25/12, but no period. I am thinking that I am NOT pregnant, and just getting bad menstrual cramping before my period comes around 10/1/12. Cramping just seems a little early though.

Whenever my period decides to come, I should be O around 2 weeks from then. Bought Clearblue OPKs to determine exact time.

If period comes around 10/1/12, should O around 10/14/12, and should know if preggers or not by end of Oct.

9/26/12 5 days until expected period. No cramps today. No spotting as of yet.

9/27/12-2pm Took an OPK today just to check, and it was negative. Intermittent cramping today.

Same day but 8:30pm, got period! or implantation bleeding perhaps, but well see. Going to do some research on the difference, but I feel like this is my period, the pain and all, it feels IDENTICAL to my usual periods, so I am just thinking it is a period and I am not preggo. Also, period came earlier than expected (10/1 would have been 28 days.) According to webMD ovu calc, my cycle is 24 days, which seems really short, but I am thinking it is just wonky now since I quit birth control mid pack. If period stays here, I will be starting OPK on day 6 of this period which will be Oct 2. If I ovulate 14 days from this period, ovulation should start on Oct 10. Although, WebMD Ovu Calc (OC) says that my most fertile days are Oct 5-9. I will be checking the OPK twice a day once in morning and once at night each day to determine O. BUT, according to the OPK, I should start on day 6, so OPK will begin TUES, OCTOBER 2.

9/28/12- Terrible cramps and flow is very heavy, so this is not I-bleeding, it is a PERIOD. SO, OPKs, here I come!

9/29/12- Cramps are better today. It has been a very heavy flow and yesterday was pretty painful, but nothing like it has been in the past. I am thinking since I’ve gotten older, the pain is better now. Was still a very bad period at Kristine’s wedding in 2010, but now its not nearly as bad as that.

9/30-12- Period was VERY short this cycle. Came night of Sept 27 and was pretty much gone by early afternoon 9/29/12, so it wasnt even a full two days..weird! UPDATE:Spotting 10/1/12 and 10/2/12 with light cramping. Light cramps and O pain on 10/2 as well.

Ovulation tracking below:

10-1-12- 9pm-no (UPDATE: POSSIBLY because my urine was diluted?, very strange that this time was neg, then pos, then neg all within 24 hrs…..grrr.) When I got the O face below, it could have been last day of surge…who knows!?!?!

10-2-12- 830am- YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It said i was O with the smiley face! I did not have the lh surge late last night, so hopefully when Hubs gets home around 7/8 tonight, we can still be within the window!! This is WAY earlier than I was supposedly supposed to O, so I am SO glad I had these tests and that I started them so early to see I was Not O last night. Will try to BD today and the next 2-3 days! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a nice surprise this morning, was definitely NOT expecting that! 🙂 Will update soon!

10-2-12 SO CONFUSED AND BUMMED! 😦 BD tonight around 8, but my lh surge I had this morning was gone by 6pm! Not sure what that means at all. Ive searched around the net, but cannot find a definitive answer. Apparently, sperm can live up to 3+ days, so since we BD 2 days ago, there may be a chance if I O today or tmrw for the egg and sperm to meet if the sperm went into my fallopian tubes. Also, since we BD tonight, if I am O today or tmrw, there may be a chance for the new sperm to fertilize the egg, IF the egg hasnt already gone away. Ugh, this stuff is so confusing and stressful! I really want a girl, but at this point, I dont care anymore, just want a confirmation, so I can quit thinking about all this.

I will try to BD the next few days for sure. I am hoping that smiley I got this morning was not a weird false positive fluke, that would suck :/ Hoping that I just had a short lh surge, and that I am O today or tmrw. Will try my best to BD next few days.

Just found somewhere online that says the day you ovulate is the day the LH surge goes away, SO, if that is true, that would mean I O today since my surge went away. If this is true, I will be 10 DPO on 10/12/12, so I will try to wait til that long to test. I should also find out the praxis results by then too, woo hoo, (FINGERS CROSSED I PASSED!). If I dont end up O til tmrw, then 10 DPO will be 10/13/12. AHH! This will be my first TWW, and im already antsy! and nervous that it will be a letdown. Just need to relax and keep my mind busy! I will be POAS tmrw at same time 830am just to double check that surge is gone, and I will for SURE be BD! Remember though, the average person gets an accurate PT at 14 DPO (10/16), so I may just force myself to wait until then (YEAH RIGHT.) OR, I may have to wait until close to next period like Oct 25, WHO KNOWS.

10/3/12- Just read that sometimes if you use FMU with OPK that it can be so concentrated that it shows up as a surge, when its really not. IDK, but I took another OPK this morning (same time as yest) and it was neg. I think I will continue to test in morn and night just to be safe OR I can just BD every other day this month to not waste the unopened pack of OPKS and I can send them back. IDK…..Gonna try the test again today around 2 then again tonight. I just counted, I have 13 more days worth of OPK (26 sticks), so I may just use them to be sure. That would mean I would test twice a day up until Oct 15ish… IDK. UPDATE: Just read online that a false positive is RARE and only false negs usually happen, so I am considering NOT testing anymore, bc I prob already O’d. Dont want to waste all these sticks, I maybe can just send them back or use them next month. Also, yest afternoon, last night, and this morn were ALL neg, so I am really starting to think I caught my surge just in time and it was super short. Even if I stop testing, I can still try to just BD every other day or so.

If there will be IB, it is supposed to come 7-10 days after conception. So, I will look for that around 10/7-10/13.

I think tonight was the second most prime day to BD, but there was no ejac, so hopefully enough got through yesterday and the 30th. Also, joined B&B and I have buddies to test with on 10/ 🙂

10/5/12- Well according to webmd (if I have a 25 day cycle), my most fertile days are 10/5-10/9, so I will try to BD tonight, although I am still thinking O already passed, since I got that surge, ugh, so confusing, just wish I knew. I think I will just use those strips and continue to test 2x a day until they are gone. This afternoon I had about 5 secs of nausea, but I think it was the nausea that comes when you’re really hungry. Also, TMI, but yesterday or this morn, cant remember, I had what looked like blood when I wiped my bottom. Not sure what thats all about, but Im not worried. I will only talk about O results when I get another positive. Just assume each day, that both times are negative.

10/7/12- 11am. I have not OPK for the last two days. I decided I do not want to waste them if I have already O’d for the month. I will try to BD every other day at least, and I will use the rest of the OPK (19 sticks) for Oct-Nov if no pos ept at the end of Oct. Not sure when I am supposed to expect my next period, but I am guessing closer to the end of Oct, like the 26 or so, that would be a full 28 day cycle, but who knows. I think since I technically had my surge (supposedly) on 9/2 that I will test PG two weeks after that (9/16) just for the heck of it, even though my period wont be due for another week or so. Been laying on back for about 10-15 minutes each time after BD, hope it helps, just wish I knew when I was O, so annoying.

AHHHH….. 2:48pm, GOT THE SURGE AGAIN!!! This time it is not FMU, so I think this is the real deal and I must have NOT O’d earlier on CD6. This is now CD11. Woo, just told hubs, very excited that we already BD this afternoon. Will try to do it for the next 3 days, so excited! I hope hubs doesnt feel too much pressure 😦 almost didnt tell him but I couldnt help myself and i didnt want to lie about it. Today made me feel better bc he said he wanted to do it last night if I was O’ing so it shows me he cares more than I thought 🙂 ANYWAY, Since I have my surge today, I prob will not O til tmrw or next day (or maybe even today), so I will not test anymore bc it says once you see the smiley you can stop testing for that cycle (woo hoo, saving some sticks for next month if needed). This means, I will not take a PT until about 2 weeks from today which is SUNDAY OCT 21. I may not have to wait though to test that long, some women get a pos PT at 10 DPO, so I think I may test just for fun at 10DPO which is WEDNESDAY OCT 17. We’ll see. I am stoked bc now I can stop concentrating and stressing about my O date and just focus on school and relax. WOO!!! Oh, and Ill be on the lookout for IB around the 17th as well.

8:30pm- Decided to take one more OPK tonight just to see if I am still O…couldnt resist!…. NO surge… crazy how short mine are or it just didnt show. At least we BD during the surge and 2 days before. Also BD AGAIN tonight, so 2x in one day, thats a first. Hubs was determined to fertilize this egg! Hoping we did, but we decided to try to BD for the next 2-3 days as well just in case. I am having mod pain in right side still so i think the surge is done and i am definitely ovulating now. hopefully!!

10/8/12- still have ovulation pain in right side, although less sharp today. Hope to BD tonight and tomorrow, hope the babe is up for it. UPDATE: BD’d tonight! We agreed to do it one more time tmrw night just in case. If I dont get preggo this month, I will be shocked! and confused, let down, etc. Getting pregnant is so much harder and more stressful than I could’ve imagined. I am hoping so much that I get pregnant this month. I need to try to prepare myself for the letdown though, bc I think it will be extremely depressing. BUT, it is rare to get preggo the first month trying, most couples try 6 mos-a year, but I am hoping since we have the OPK, we can do it! I layed down for almost 30 minutes tonight after BD. Still have very minimal pain in right side, so I am sure I have already O for this month now, but you never know. Tmrw will be our “insurance” night just in case I O’d later than expected.

So far the people that know we are TTC are: Kelly C, Anastasia C, Ana Z, Kaitlyn C, Lilly B, Cyndel B,my fam, Pat’s fam, our neighbor DD, and anyone else Pat has told. I really wish I didnt tell my BS group since I cannot stand them, but I couldn’t help it, was just too excited! When it gets closer to 10 DPO I will pick on a FRER. I know if I get it before then I will use it. I hope I can wait until the 17th or longer!! You never know, If I actually O today or tmrw, it wouldnt be 10 DPO until around the 18th or 19th, but I know I will be testing at the 17th since I could be 10 DPO. Ahh, such an exciting time right now!!!

10/11/12- WELL TODAY SUCKED!! I was still having pain in my right ovary AND I felt nauseous this morning, so just for the heck of it I took another OPK today at 2pm and it was POSITIVE…What the heck??? I now think I did not ovulate when I thought I did around the 7th, and the best info I am getting online is that my body is probably gearing up to ovulate, but then doesn’t, hence the multiple surges. This is the third surge I have had in Oct. Soooo annoying and confusing. I am going to try my hardest to BD tonight since I got the surge again, so we will see, but now I may not want to test on the 21st, I may need to wait until Octish since that will be 2 weeks after this ovulation. ugh so confused 😦

BD tonight, thankfully! Although I dont even know if this surge is a REAL one, i feel so confused and bummed that it may not happen this month..or ever…..? Not supposed to get multiple surges, this can be caused by PCOS….ugh what a bummer that would be. Also, it is now almost 2am Fri morning, and I STIlL have right side ovulation pain. I think when this pain goes away I will prob ovulate. WIll try to BD tmrw or next day FX!!

10/12/12- I may just consider today 1DPO or who knows actually if/when I will ovulate this month, but I think since I got the smiley that I definitely did not ovulate oct 7? I think I will still do HPT 10/17 and then I will wait until 10/22ish bc that will be 10 days from this supposed ovulation….Actually, I just did an HPT just to make sure again that I was not preggo and getting pos opks bc of that and it was neg. I have one stick left..Need to wait as long as possible. This morning the cramps are worse they have been so far!

2pm- got another smiley!!!! THis is the first time ever that I have had a smiley 2 days in a row, but I am hoping so badly that this is the real smiley. I am going to keep taking it once a day at 2 until I get my period to know for sure. Today and tonight were by far the worst right O pain ever this month, so I REALLY think I O’d today, and I am counting tmrw 10/13 as 1DPO…here we go again, all over again with this crappy 2WW. Hubs and I going to try to BD tmrw morning since it was such a small amt tonight. His meds have significantly lowered his ability to E 😦

1/13/12- Seriously, ANOTHER SMILEY. This is the third day in a row at 230pm that I have gotten this, what the hell is going on!!?? Is this O test maybe detecting preggo before an HPT? Do I have PCOS and are these all false positives? AM I FINALLY ovulating, and this is just a really long surge? Well at any rate, if this is a real surge, I am happy that we can still try to BD tonight and tmrw since this morning’s BD was unsuccessful (NO E) and last nights was less than a teaspoon 😦 Gonna take another HPT monday morning,,,the more I research this, the more I wonder if I am preggo. why else would i get so many freeaking smileys… Today’s is the 5th. 5 this month, with 3 in a row.

9pm, same day- Smiley… :/ SUPER pain in right ovary, seems to have gotten much worse.

10/14/12- bad pain again, but seems lighter than last night. BFN. Later today will OPK. Decided will NOT do another hpt until 10/21 and 10/25. 230pm- Negative OPK! I guess this means I ovulated, but seriously who the hell knows if I will ever ovulate. This was really crappy timing for ovulation to come EXACTLY when patrick is having difficulty E 😦 This last surge came on 10/11 and luckily we BD that day, but I may not have ovulated until today since today I have a negative. I hope the E from the 11th was enough to fertilize an egg on the 13th or 14th… we will see, but I am not feeling confident this month at all that we will be preggo :/

10/15/12- took a opk one more time just to be SURE and it was NEGATIVE, so I have either officially ovulated or tried again and failed. WHO KNOWS… I will NOT be using OPK anymore until next month if need be. Also will NOT do an hpt until at least 10/21 and period should be here around 10/25.

10/16/12- Ahh, caved in and tested yesterday 10/15 and of course it was bfn. I thought mayebe i DID ovulate on the 7th which would make yesterday 8DPO but I will just go with the 11th and test again on 10/21 which is this Sunday! Yesterday and this morning, I have had mild cramping in my crotch and thighs that feels exactly like menstrual cramps… hmm. Also, last two days, slept HORRIBLY. Also, woke up with mild headache. As I write this, the cramps are getting stronger and it makes me REALLY feel like AF is coming :/ Tonight at 6pm- Cramps have been MUCH worse today, so I am thinking AF will be here kind of soon. No cramping in my stomach which is normal preg sign, just crotch and thighs which I believe is just AF cramps. BLAH. Oh, and some mild lower back pain today which I NEVER get. Tommrow is 6 DPO! ( I THINK!) :/

10/17/12- I am such a loser! Took an HPT tonight when I got home from school, and of course its a BFN..DUH. I was again hoping that maybe I really did O on the 7th which would make today 10DPO, but I need to be realistic and say I O’d any time from Oct 11-Oct 13, prob the 13th, which would put me at 4DPO, and if the 11th, then 6DPO. So I will just say I am at a range from now on. Right now I am at 4-6 DPO. I have my annual on the 23rd which is in 6 days, so I will be around 8-10 DPO then, and I am going to ask them if they can give me a urine or blood pregn test…we’ll see how that goes, but i REALLY feel out this month, just not enough BD around the prime time due to the E problem 😦 I REALLLLY hope we get that resolved by next month. I dont see that happening though. To be honest, I am REALLY missing BD with him, but he is just not interested at all 😦

Anyway, I REALLY need to stop obsessing over this bc my hopes are SO SO high and I just know that they will get let down, and that is going to be very hard to deal with. I need to tell myself NO MORE forums and researching info and symptoms, etc, its just making me more anxious. I am going to start small though, and promise myself that I will NOT do anything baby related tmrw…Not even update this blog or write a note in my phone! If I get through tmrw, I am going to try to go for a long time. if i dont make it to Sunday testing, I will not test until Oct is over, I PROMISE!!!! If I DO make it passed Sunday without testing, then I will use my last test on Friday Oct 26, the morning of Comps. I am really sad, and think im for sure out. If it doesnt happen this month, I need to FOR SURE not get into the forums and researching again like I did this month, gets me wayyy too excited and anxious and makes the TWW go by soooo slow. Oh, but just for the fun of it, I will report that I had some strange abdominal twinges on the right side for about an hour tonight. ok Im done!

10/18/12- scratch that, there is no way I can not check baby stuff every day lol, but if it doesnt happen this month, i will FOR SURE not do this again.

10/19/12- Been remembering all my dreams, and that never happens. Also been noticing a dull lower back ache last few days which I have never gotten before, at least never noticed before. I have changed my O date to 10/13, since the 13th was my last day of digital pos opk and also since according to this blog, that was my WORSE day for pain, so I was most likely O’ing on the 13th. This now puts me at 6DPO (ugh, keeps getting pushed back.) I will probably test on Sunday which should be 8DPO, but if I can help it I will not test. I have a doc appt this Tues, the 23, so I am going to ask if they can give me an HCG test with my urine while im there, and I should be 10DPO by then, which still may be too early to tell. I dont know when AF is coming, but I am guessing the 25th which would be 28 days after last AF. I just dont know how long my cycles are since they have been so wonky. Also dont know my luteal phase either, but I put it at 12 days, therefore putting me at 6DPO and due 10/25. Really, who the hell knows though. Gonna try to stay busy this weekend, but will prob pick up some dollar tree tests. Oh, just got some light vaginal cramping which is extremely indicative of my AF coming soon, 😦 FX.

BD tonight, with lots of E, WOO HOO!!! Didnt think it was going to happen for a looonng time, so so happy right now. The doc told Patrick to help with the libido/E problem to half his pills, so Patrick will start doing that tmrw. Also, told Patrick that we will limit our sex to mostly around ovulation time to help with the E problem until things balance back out. Had a few dull and VERY mild cramps in right ovary area tonight, very brief. Gonna POAS every morning with the DT brand of HPTs I bought today, only $1 each, crazy! I know it is way too early, but it just relaxes me and makes me stop thinking about it so much. I think if I O’d the 13th, then I will be 7 DPO tomorrow. POAS this morn, and of course negative. Just assume they are all negative, unless I write otherwise.

10/20/12- Definitely a lot of weird pains in abdomen and ovary area today, which is exciting! Who knows though, I have also been having a lot of vag cramping like right now and that is what happens before AF. Excited to test tmrw, 8 DPO! I will prob break down and use my FRER but i would rather wait til 10DPO to use that, but the DT ones are not early, so IDK. I think Ill do a DT one first, and that may get the urge out of my system.

10/21/12- OMG OMG OMG!!! I know this sounds crazy and I REALLY dont want to get my hopes up, but I could have sworn I saw a VERY VERY VERY faint shadowy line on a FRER this morning!!!! I posted it on B&B so we will see what others say. This isnt good bc right now I am VERY excited I can barely stand it, and there is no way in hell I will be able to sleep…AHHH!!!! I bought more FRERs and I will test in the morn and again at night then on the 10th. My DT tests arent showing anything which is normal since they are not early result. Holy crap, is this it? Well if I was going to be depressed before with a BFN, now I will REALLLLLY be depressed since I think I may have seen a BFP! Here it is…
WELL, that was short lived and now im sad again LOL. I looked at it VERY up close and I think the line I am seeing is just some kind of spot where the dye will go. It has no color, and it seems to skinny. ugh, wtf.

So just did another FRER and it looks the same as this morn :/ I think that the shadows are not a real BFP bc the new stick has the same shadows in another place too 😦 Will try my hardest to wait and test Tues morn with FRER but will do a DT in morn… 😦

10/22- DT this morn was neg which makes sense, it is not an early test, though, I have read online that a DT usually can pick up a pos at 12 DPO. I kind of hate what is going on. Two different people now have told me that they see a line on my FRER, after tweaking, and one said they see pink, which is just crazy. Other said no pink yet, so indent for now. Going to try to wait til tmrw morn to retest. I was very excited last night, but now I think it may be indent or evap or IDK, just not feeling very confident. I have gas this morn but other than that no symptoms except light pressure/pain on right ovary and sleeplessness (but the sleeplessness is clearly bc I am so obsessed with testing right now, its messing with me bad.) I cannot go through this again next month. This was a great experience and type of boot camp this month to inform me of all things TWW, but I just cannot handle it again, so next round will be VERY VERY different. Hoping to see some darker or clearer lines soon, hope I can wait to test tmrw,I really dont want to waste a test on tonight, but we will see! 10DPO supposedly is the magic number, and tonight will be the eve of that most likely… we’ll see. UPDATE: NO, will not be testing tonight. Tested this afternoon around 2pm and got BFN on Answer brand… STARK WHITE. blah. Going to try to hold off and not test until 12DPO which would be Thurs morning. Apparently 9DPO is still very early to get BFP, and 12-14 is more common.UPDATE: feeling VERRRRY AFish, with vaginal and leg cramping, had to pull out HP! 😦 Definitely think I am out now 😦 😦 😦

10/24- IM OUT. Very sad but happy that terrible TWW is over. Going to get pre-seed for this month and use my dig opks left, I think ill start at CD 10, and I am going to RELAX, i was WAY too stressed this month and that could’ve messed things up.I guess Ill shoot for a Aug baby 🙂 WebMD is telling me my next Period is due Nov 20, and my most fertile days are Nv 4-8. Wow, much earlier than I thought. Also going to do green tea this month. Gonna buy a BBT therm this today.

***I think I decided to end this blog, I will keeping track of all things TTC on! See ya!!! (unless it doesnt work out, then, ill be back!)

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